Family, you know it's bad when....

This is about my family and how upsetting they can be sometimes. Let me start by saying it has NOTHING to do with my wife or children whom I love dearly. NO, I'm talking about the crazy-making people! Like my parents and my wife's parents and my parents family.

You know it's bad when you find yourself watching movies about how a person's family can get under their skin and insult and infuriate them all the time, and you're thinking "Hey that is just like my family! ...when they are trying to be nice!" I mean really! It feels like they have some kind of competition going for how badly they can ruin our lives. We have yet to get through ANY holiday unscathed! Either we do not spend enough time with someone, or don't help them with things that are not our responsibility, or they just can't stop the diarrhea of the mouth that naturally splashes over every inch of our lives.

The women of our families are part of a secret society for the early death of all male members of the family (Can't Understand Normal Thinking). This society is closely related to Nag Your Husband To The Grave, but they seem to have more members because they use the excuse that they are not aware of their actions, and people seem to believe them! Of course, many of the men in my family (that have already met their expiration date) were no saints, they seemed to either drink themselves oblivious to life around them or try to have sex with any female in the vicinity (usually at family functions), regardless of their relation.

OK, so somehow I grew up around horrifying people and somehow I pretended to ignore their actions as much as possible! Seems like I could use some therapy, doesn't it? Well, several of these wonderful male examples in my family have died of cancer which led me to the conclusion that they were cursed by their wives and family, or that their own actions finally caught up with them! Maybe a little of both.

If I were a psychologist, I would be doing a case study about my family functions, how the stereo-typical males were drinking to excess, being abusive, and/or molesting family members. Meanwhile the hens were busy with the pecking order, picking apart any hen that turned its back for a moment, and generally driving the men to bad behavior!

It seems that every year after our children were born, our family would find some way to ruin my wife's Mothers' Day. It was quite something to see how their manipulations and callousness could rip the fabric of our family to ribbons. It seems that somehow there was always some female family member whose motherhood was so very important that it should cancel out all others! Nobody seems to understand that sometimes you should spend special time with your immediate family like your own spouse and children. I guess that they just Can't Understand Normal Thinking!

Now add to this the lying, manipulating, backbiting, etc. Rumors that circulate between people you already don't like, portraying your loved ones as awful hurtful people that do not resemble the real person in any way possible. Then watch as different plans are hatched by different parts of the family to try to destroy your marriage! Watch in utter amazement as lies and hatred try to drown you in pain and hurt and try to say words don't hurt! Then despite all of that prove them all wrong and succeed on your own just to be ignored by your family and treated as an outcast, only talked about behind your back!

This just isn't bad enough yet, is it? Now we should try to help our family that is in trouble, because THEY WON'T THANK US! No, they will just learn to walk on you more and expect things that they have no right to expect from us! Oh, and when we do go the extra mile to fix a person's problem, they have to find some way to say that they don't like the way we did it since we were approaching it in the most reasonable way possible! Well, I am starting to foam at the mouth now, so I better stop blogging for now...